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A new baby can cause create friction in a marriage

The December holidays through Valentine's Day generally see New Jersey jewelry stores buzzing with grooms-to-be getting ready to pop the question to their future wife. The next several months have the couple filling their date book to prepare for their big day. After the wedding the newlywed couple is usually completely enthralled with one another, and the last thing on their mind is seeing a divorce on the horizon.

The honeymoon period varies from couple to couple, but many couples experience their first set of marital hurdles when the stork pays a visit to their happy home. Some relationship experts believe that a newborn child can destroy any relationship, regardless of how solid it may seem. However, being prepared for a potential shift in emotions may eliminate the chance of a divorce happening due to the birth of a child.

According to one expert that wrote a book on the subject, every couple should expect a rough patch during the first few months with a new baby. This period is a time of relationship redefinition because the baby must be incorporated. Determining how the couple will care for the child can be hard. Understanding this and communicating things without becoming aggravated can solve many of this sort of issue quite easily.

Adding to this are the biological differences between man and woman. Upon the realization that she is pregnant, a mother's instinct kicks in and she begins nurturing and bonding with the unborn child. Because the child is physically connected to her, she has more time to create an emotional connection.

Fathers, on the other hand, do not have this advantage. Bonding between a man and his child does not occur until sometime after birth. Because of this, disagreements can arise. Behaviors such as scorekeeping may appear due to these disagreements. This may end up with a sexual disconnect and sleep deprivation.

All of these things can create serious issues for a relationship. Keeping an open-line of communication is essential for all new parents -- in the long run it can save their marriage.

Source: South Coast Today, "Divorce-proof your marriage before baby arrives," Kelly Alfieri, Jan. 6, 2012

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