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McCurrie McCurrie
& McCurrie, L.L.C.

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Some people are better parents after the divorce

Couples in New Jersey that are heading their separate ways often find it hard to maintain a friendly relationship. But when a marriage ends and there are factors that will keep both parties in each other's lives for a long time to come, it may be best to behave kindly toward one another.

Divorce is rarely seen as a process that breeds friendship. But there are cases where it may need to do so. As a married couple, some people may not be able to see that they could function better as friends-spouses are constantly around one another, sharing a life that may not be as satisfying as they had hoped when they first got together. As divorced spouses, they no longer share a home or a life together-they are separated and may manage to like each other more in small doses than they ever did in the constant exposure that occurred while they were together.

For parents, this is very important. Many people believe that sticking together is best for the kids. But if you are arguing every day, you may be creating a harmful environment for your children. Children learn about social norms and hear about how other families are functioning, whether it is real or fictional. If yours is not up to par with these other families, it may begin to leave the child questioning the credibility of his own family.

If the parents can operate better when divorced, this may turn the tables and create a better environment to raise a child in. Of course, this means being able to come to agreements on what is best to do when raising the children and supporting one another in regards to finances and decision-making.

Though it may sound hard to make friends with an ex, there are a few small steps that can lead to amicability. Instead of getting angry and blowing up, take a deep breath and think about what you are going to say. Show gratitude when it is due and learn to apologize when you haven't done what you said you would.

Source: Huffington Post, "Creating Harmony After Divorce," Judith Ruskay Rabinor, Jan. 7, 2013

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