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McCurrie McCurrie
& McCurrie, L.L.C.

680 Kearny Avenue
Kearny, NJ 07032-3010
Phone: (201) 467-4180
Fax: (201) 997-9567
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There are two perspectives to every divorce

Many couples throughout the country will go through a divorce this year. In Jersey City, New Jersey, this is no different. But what is often forgotten is that there are two different perspectives to every divorce: that of the initiator and the non-initiator.

For the initiator, there has been much more time spent considering the option of divorce. This means that they are likely more emotionally prepared than the spouse that was not privy to this information. This area can be rife with conflict during the separation process. Emotions run high when a marriage ends and if someone has had more time than another to cope with their feelings surrounding the event, they will likely fare better than the other for the early portion of the divorce.

For the non-initiator, the divorce can be much harder. Rejection hurts regardless of how expected or unexpected it is and the initiator should realize this. The non-initiator will likely have less-than-ideal feelings toward the initiator for a considerable amount of time. They may also wonder -- more often than the initiator -- where their former spouse is or what they are doing. These thoughts can lead to a longer emotional recuperation time for the non-initiator and may get in the way of potential relationships in the future. Both parties should do their best to focus on themselves so that the divorce can go smoothly.

If children are involved, be sure to remember their needs. Children of a couple going through a divorce are often more confused and emotionally distraught than either of the spouses. For those who are willing to move on to the next potential spouse, do your best to leave a large amount of time between the divorce and the introduction of a new partner for the children's sake. The more time children have to cope, the better they may respond to new individuals and potential stepparents.

Source: Huffington Post, "10 Tips for a Sane Divorce: Five for You, Five for Me," Micki McWade, Nov. 28, 2011

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