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McCurrie McCurrie
& McCurrie, L.L.C.

680 Kearny Avenue
Kearny, NJ 07032-3010
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What's the best way to address children during divorce?

The end of a marriage can be a traumatic event for the spouses involved, but if they are parents, it can also be extremely stressful for the children. Many parents in Jersey City, New Jersey, have felt guilty for putting their kids through this process but do so for good reason. For one reason or another, the relationship no longer makes them happy. If parents are not happy together, it can easily transfer to the children and affect them. The problem is that divorce can do this too.

A number of factors can cause emotions to run high during a divorce. According to research, just the knowledge of a divorce between parents can set the children off. It's no wonder why, though, as divorce is a major life step that will see the family the children have grown used to changed forever. Researchers report that boys are more likely to be open about expressing their emotions regarding the split, but it may mean acting out in angry ways as they try to cope with the sudden changes. Girls, on the other hand, are more likely to keep their emotions bottled up, as they try to deal with it without burdening anyone else. Because of these differences, each child requires a unique approach from the parents.

One of the first things the parents should do is establish the fact that the divorce is not going to destroy anyone's lives. Let the children know that both parents will be fine. The children may question this at first, but if the parents can manage to get along during the divorce proceedings and after, they may realize that the divorce was for the best.

Knowing all of this, the importance of a child custody determination is easily understood. If the parents share joint custody of the kids, they may have the best chance of developing good co-parenting habits. You should speak to a lawyer who specializes in family law if you are involved in a child custody proceeding, regardless of what outcome you desire.

The Telegraph, "How to help children through divorce" Oliver James, Jun. 21, 2013

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